Episode 98: Thriving Instead of Surviving with Brandi Sellerz-Jackson
Do you often feel like you're just going through the motions rather than thriving? Do you often say to yourself "I'll be happy once I...[insert: lose weight, feel less stressed, get in a relationship, stop grieving...]?" This episode is for you. Brandi Sellerz-Jackson is the inspiring author of On Thriving: Harnessing Joy Through Life's Great Labors, and has been featured in media outlets such as Oprah Daily and The Today Show. Josie and Brandi discuss how to thrive (and stop surviving), thriving tools to add to your daily routine, and how to start living for joy today instead of waiting for your circumstances to change. They also discuss how to thrive through grief or stress, what we get wrong about self-care, and why we should stop calling people "resilient." Consider this episode a complete guide to how to thrive in your life.
Ask The Everygirl: 02:17
Interview Begins: 34:33
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SHOW NOTES:
For this week’s Ask The Everygirl question, Josie and Emma answer a listener’s question about whether or not to talk to her sister about her concerns about her getting engaged after only dating her significant other for five months. Josie discusses the fact that she thinks heartbreak is less of a risk in life than we treat it, and that the listener needs to work on being on her own journey instead of worrying so much about her sister. Emma explains that the listener should relieve herself of the stress of worrying about what her sister is doing, as hard as it may be to take her attention off of her sister. For the remainder of the intro, Josie and Emma chat about timelines in the dating world, and their different opinions as someone who has been in a long relationship vs. someone who is actively on the dating scene. The interview with Brandi Sellerz-Jackson begins with Josie asking Brandi what her younger self would think of her becoming a life doula and author. Josie asks Brandi to expand on a quote from her book, On Thriving, in which she talks about how each of us is constantly going through a birthing process at all times as we go through different ages and stages of life. Brandi explains why being a birth doula allowed her to see some of the complexities of life as rebirths, and how she evolved her work as a birth doula to coaching her clients in going through rebirths throughout their lives. Then Brandi goes into her personal definition of the word “thriving”—she discusses how most of us are just going through life “living,” when we really deserve to be thriving. She explains how it’s possible for each of us to thrive even during times when we feel like we are struggling, or when we’re going through grief or loss. Brandi also walks listeners through the definition of thriving versus surviving—she provides a few examples of survival tools that each of us use to get through difficult personal moments or even process our trauma. Josie and Brandi have a conversation about how thriving often means not necessarily being the happiest you’ve ever been, but rather doing the opposite of our usual survival tools when faced with adversity. They also talk about the importance of leaning into community as a thriving tool. Josie asks Brandi about the four great labors of life that she highlights in her book, and Brandi gives a brief explanation of each one: relationships, mental health, grief, and being bothered. She discusses why she thinks of self-care as a houseplant, something we have to constantly attend to on our own. Josie and Brandi have a conversation about the importance of asking for help, and how leaning on others is a form of strength. Brandi also shares some tips for cultivating joy in the day-to-day, including a practice she refers to as “kindness watching.” The episode closes with some rapid-fire questions for Brandi.
Must-Listen Moments:
[02:17] Ask The Everygirl: Navigating Early Engagements
[23:46] Volume Dating: A New Approach to Finding 'The One'
[34:33] Brandy Sellers Jackson: On Thriving and Finding Joy
[38:18] The Journey from Birth Doula to Life Doula
[45:15] Surviving vs. Thriving: A Deep Dive
[52:09] Navigating the Four Great Labors of Life
[57:02] Self-Care: The House Plant Analogy
[01:00:15] Redefining Resilience and Cultivating Joy
[01:03:33] Practical Steps to Start Thriving
More from The Everygirl:
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