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#350: Why do we keep attracting the same types of people, repeating the same unhealthy patterns, or getting triggered by things we know shouldn't bother us? And more importantly, how do we actually change? Josie is joined by Sabrina Zohar, host of The Sabrina Zohar Show, and author of Why Am I Like This?, for a brutally honest conversation. Known for her no-BS approach to relationships and self-worth, Sabrina breaks down the subconscious beliefs that drive our behaviors, why we confuse anxiety with chemistry, and how our childhood experiences can shape the relationships we choose as adults. Sabrina also opens up about the toxic relationship that brought her to rock bottom, the realization that changed everything, and how she went from desperately wanting to be chosen to finally choosing herself.
You'll learn:
Why you keep attracting the same types of partners (and how to break the cycle)
The surprising reason anxiety can feel like chemistry or attraction
How childhood wounds and subconscious beliefs influence your adult relationships
Why knowing your patterns isn't enough to actually change them
The difference between healthy boundaries and trying to control someone else's behavior
How to stop letting your triggers dictate your reactions
Why we stay in relationships that aren't right for us, even when we know better
Two powerful questions to ask yourself when you're feeling triggered
How to build healthier relationships without losing yourself in the process
Sabrina's new book, Why Am I Like This? Break Your Relationship Patterns and Create the Life You Want, is available now! Discover how to identify the subconscious patterns keeping you stuck, break unhealthy relationship cycles, and build a life rooted in self-worth. Get your copy of Why Am I Like This? here.
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CHAPTERS:
00:20 - Introduction: Why We Repeat the Same Patterns
02:00 - Sabrina's Story: The Relationship That Changed Everything
06:30 - Why We Keep Attracting the Same Types of People
10:00 - How Childhood Experiences Shape Our Relationships
13:00 - Two Questions to Ask When You're Triggered
16:30 - Why Knowing Your Patterns Isn't Enough
19:00 - The Difference Between Boundaries and Control
23:00 - How to Communicate Without Blaming Your Partner
27:00 - Why Love Isn't Always Enough
30:00 - Why We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships
34:00 - Learning to Choose Yourself
38:00 - How to Take Accountability Without Blaming Yourself
42:00 - How to Actually Break Your Patterns
46:00 - Josie Unpacks Her Fear of Disappointing Others
51:00 - Reconnecting With Your Inner Child
55:00 - How to Stop Letting Your Triggers Control You
58:00 - Rapid-Fire Questions and Final Advice
RESOURCES & MENTIONS:
Why Am I Like This? — Sabrina Zohar: Sabrina's book, which explores the patterns, beliefs, and emotional triggers discussed throughout the episode.
The Sabrina Zohar Show: Sabrina's podcast covering dating, relationships, attachment, emotional regulation, and self-worth.
The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk: Referenced during the conversation about how emotional experiences can manifest physically.
My Stroke of Insight — Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: A related resource for the discussion of emotional processing and the 90-second rule.
Repetition compulsion: The psychological concept Sabrina discusses when explaining why people recreate familiar relationship dynamics.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): A related therapeutic framework for understanding the protective parts of ourselves that emerge when we're triggered.
BetterHelp: Mentioned by Sabrina when describing her early attempts to access therapy.
CONNECT WITH JOSIE:
Follow @josie.santi
CONNECT WITH SABRINA:
Follow @sabrina.zohar
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